Feel Disappointed~

i have been very busy recently...
no time spent at here...
i had been gone his house since wednesday...
i stay there until just now only i come back...
i am really happy he said he want to fetch me that day...
i also spend an enjoyable days with him...
suppose i come back yesterday to hostel...
we are in the way to penang bridge...
suddenly he ask me want to go back or not...
because he plan to send me back at friday at first...
then i ask really?
then we go to have our supper together...
at there he said he saw his ex-girlfriend in front after she has leave...
he never told me when she is still there...
i never have chance to see her once...
and then i ask him a lots question about him and her...
i feel much more unhappy when he told me more about their thing...
then morning he yet sms to her...
don't know why i feel so uneasy...
then today he back from work...
he look so tired and he concentrate play game...
less talk with me...
even just now ate supper together...
he no talk much with me also...
finally i reach my hostel...
before he leave...
he no leave me a good bye kiss...
i miss him for one week can't see him...
he yet don't want give me...
i am really really disappointed...
why he never know what i want...
am i very hard to understand?
maybe...
but i always keep my feeling inside my heart...
will never let him know...
i don't want bother him and influence our relationship...
he also don't know actually i mind he sms that much with other girls...
i know i make him boring for this exam season...
he don't let me sms him...
then he find other girls sms...
i feel more disappointed is...
a girl from sarawak called him hubby...
he never ignore...
although he got tell me...
just when i wanna start to tell him i mind...
he then feel a bit angry...
said i really shouldn't like that...
he always stress she is from sarawak...
impossible for them...
i not scare they together or what...
i just very very mind other girl call my darling hubby...
if simply a girl also can call him hubby...
then who am i?
i always trust him he love me...
just sometime he never think about my feeling...
i never said no when he sms with other girls...
just want that he not too over...
he know more and more girls continuously...
everyday sms with them...
and never sms with me...
he said he want let me concentrate study and he really boring if no sms with people...
he told me before he will never find them after my exam...
but today he said will still reply him...
i am more and more disappointed with him...
when our relationship become more and more stable...
i miss the day we just together...
he really really really nice and sweet with me...
never do anything will make me sad...
i don't know how hurt will me after we have together for long long time...
since now just half year...
but i will still stay by his side...
as long as he still love me...
i won't leave him...

I was crying last two days...

that day you told me you will come penang day after that day...
i ask you to find me...
i want to see you...
although just one or two hours...
you said dont want...
coz i got exam...
need to prepare and study hard...
then i keep asking again...
you angry me...
you said why i never listen what you said...
i knew i speak wrong word...
i didnt mean really want to go out...
just if you said dont want...
then just dont want...
i just simply say say and ask ask...
you really really angry that time...
you said why i so dont know think...
exam time still think wanna go out...
he even said...
if i really want to go out with him...
is ok fine...
but it will be our last date...
i so sad to hear that...
i keep explain to him what i am thinking...
but he still keep scolding me...
he said he really want me to good...
i keep saying i knew...
got few time he close my phone...
then i call again...
he said...
if we together for so unhappy...
better break up...
i drop my tear...
i feel that i was crying...
he become more angry...
and close my phone...
then i make better my emotion...
i call again...
i tell him i no crying...
i lie him in fact...
then we talk a while...
emotion become slow down...
he start to said sorry with me...
and i stop crying...
he always that care about my thing...
overly care...
he said he care my thing more than his thing...
only will like that...
yes i know...
i no blame him...
also no angry...
i ask him is it really wanna break up with me just now...
he said it just angry word...
he never think wanna break up with me...
i am glad we are ok at the end...
we talk until midnight...
end up happily...

Stressful but sweet sweet day~

yesterday study till 2.30am...
have to sleep early for tomorrow exam...
now only spend time with my blog...
well...
yesterday was really a very very stressful day for me...
keep ready and ready...
want to memorize but cant...
i study from morning till 6 o clock something...
cant hold on any more...
i call him...
i tolld him i was so suffered...
he look very nervous...
he ask me go to sleep first...
later only study...
i am glad he so care about me...
i listen what he said...
after wake up...
i continue study...
it make me better to study...
my heart got one feeling at that moment...
really really thank him...
after wake up not long...
he call me...
ask me go to eat first...
i said i will...
he so nervous...
scare i eat late will gastric...
but i keep on study...
after a moment...
he call again...
ask me had i eat my dinner...
i told him havent...
he ask me faster go to eat...
although he look fierce...
but sound really sweet...
i am glad he always that care about me...
when i wanna start study...
he didnt forget to add oil for me...
feel warm...
got him be with me...
later before midnight...
he call and we talk about 15 minutes...
although he said dont want call me...
i tell me i need relax...
so we talk...
he told me what he doing today...
and then finally...
he said with me...
I LOVE YOU...
i can forget all my stress that moment...
so happy...
the last question i ask him was...
will him disappointed if i fail to get good result...
he said he wont...
he said i got try my best enough...
thank you for giving me such answer...
i feel really unstressful later went back study...
and lastly...
i would like to say that...
i am glad to be your love one...