worry about you~

why i call you twice you didnt pick up...
why you off your handphone after that...
i am worry about you...
you told me you wanna go pub do something...
i thought you will back before 12 o clock...
coz you said you wont that late come back...
i have send you two message to your both handphone...
why you never reply with the handphone without off...
where are you now...
i am really really worry...
i wait you three hours already...
have you back home?
or still at pub...
you know today i am really really happy...
we talk for a long long time phone...
just like before...
and before you go out...
he say many sweet word to me...
today is the most happy day for me...
since recently...
but then why you didnt tell me anything just let me wait you...
i not dare let you know i am always think nonsense thing...
coz you dont like...
i keep my feeling inside my heart...
you never know you do many thing also hurt me sometime...
coz you arent a very detail guy...
you dont know how girl feeling...
but i dont mind...
coz i love you love me and care me...
actually i am trusting you...
i know you wont do something wrong...
but just because too love you...
i will still worry...
hopefully you are not drunk...
God...
please bless us...
dear...
i am waiting your message...

Really really happy back already~

just now we talk again phone...
he just so nice to me...
i really lose to him...
whenever he being nice to me...
i will feel really really happy...
i am so easy get influence by him...
so...
just now to talk until 12 o clock sharp...
before we end up the phone...
he finally willing to say sweet sweet word to me...
feel really really sweet...
i got long long time didnt hear he say like that to me already...
just before that...
he ask me a question...
if he find another "lao po"...
how will i...
i feel so surprise with this question...
i told him i will leave him... he didnt say anything after that...
we change topic...
later i was alone...
i keep thinking why he ask me this question...
i feel so unsafety...
i wonder is it he really got another girlfriend...
i call him at one o clock...
we talk again for another 40 minutes...
and now he fall asleep...
i didnt end the call...
still can feel that he just by my side...
can hear his snoring sound...
well...
i ask him why just now he ask question like that...
he told me he just wanna play with me...
and see how will i respon...
yup...
is me think too much...
i ask him will him love another girl...
he said should be wont...
i trust him...
coz he really not a flower heart guy...
i make my heart calm down...
and feel much more better...
i most happy to hear he said one thing...
which is...
he said we surely will come to my house find me once i go back...
feel really really nice...
thanks dear...
you really light up my life now...
hope we will always that good...
and wish we could together...
forever...

Finally happy back~

Yeah...
i am finally happy back already...
suppose is last few days i think too much d...
today he call me again...
we talk about 40 minutes...
just normal talking...
one thing that i glad the most is...
we didnt end up argueing...
we didnt end up sadly...
although there is no sweet sweet word from him...
i know he dont like to say...
even he will said last time to me a lots...
all also he force himself said...
coz i keep asking him to say...
i am the girl who like to hear sweet word from my love one...
i still happy will the talk coz at least he will call me "lao po"...
and also will care me before the call end up...
thanks God...
i knew is a good sign...
i will always try my best to keep our relationship as well as before...
never give up...
good luck for myself...
cheer up...

Is another sad day~

i told myself this morning...
today must have a good mood...
but i fail to do that...
just because of him...
again...
and again...
i force myself not to think about those unhappy thing...
but just i cant...
something happen make me cant stop thinking...
same like last few days...
we didnt sms much and didnt talk much phone...
the first call made me happy...
second call gave me normal feeling...
the last call...
at night...
made me really down...
i dont know why recently the relation seem got changing...
he no longer sweet to me...
easy angry with any small mistake i done...
am i too sensitive...
or something really made it changing...
i really feel that he no longer love me that much as before...
he close the phone with anger...
i close the phone with tear...
i cant stop thinking...
and my tear cant stop dropping...
i wonder why like that...
is it impossible for someone make mistake inside the world of love?
is it unforgetable?
i am thinking what should i do at the future...
suppose i try not to care him that much?
or less contact with him?
let the time pass and put down him slowly?
i wish i could...
but i really love him...
i love him because he was treat me too well before...
i love him because he really love me a lots before...
maybe before i didnt love him that much...
and i didnt appreciate him enough...
but then now i wish to love him deeply...
and appreciate him...
together with him forever...
am i too late?
i wish i wont regret at the end of my life...
i know if he leave me...
i will really really sad...
and blame myself why i never appreciate him...
God...
could you please bless me one more time?
i didnt request much...
i just wish...
we can back to the time we just together...
that sweet...
that happy...
i hope i will never drop any single tear while together with him...
dear...
i wanna tell you...
i really really love you...

It just a normal day~

huuu...
one day pass again...
today we didnt much sms...
he said he dont want bother me study...
i dont really mind...
coz i really want to study hard...
then i tell him i no sms disturd him too...
in fact...
i know that he will sms with other people...
he dont like boring...
he less many hour didnt give me a single sms...
i am ok...
coz i trust him...
i study and do my own thing...
facebook+ing...
after i finish one chapter...
is about 11 o clock...
i remember i havent find him...
we talk a while phone...
he tell me he know a few girls...
and got sms with them...
he always that honest to me...
i feel really safety together with him...
today really didnt talk much phone and sms much...
feel really miss him suddenly...
i told him...
he always ask me to "guai guai"...
ya...
i want to become his good girlfriend...
never make him angry...
just because we didnt keep in touch much today...
and no sweet word from him...
i feel today just a normal day...
actually today noon...
he write a really long message to me...
it really bother my feeling...
i didnt reply him...
he thought i am angry or sad...
he call to "tam" back me...
i tell him i am ok...
haiz...
i know how he feel...
i know what he think also...
but that is my personality...
so hard to change...
i can just keep remind myself...
never keep request him...
i hope to see him happy also...
huuu...
i need to end up my normal day le...
hope tomorrow will be better...

I dont know how to describe my mood~

just now taking phone with him...
i didnt realize it took me about 2 hours...
we didnt talk must thing also...
but yet can hang so long time...
i felt moodless today...
maybe too stress...
i no pay enough conncentration to our conversation...
is my fault...
another reason i felt moodless is...
about that day...
we argue...
he ignore me...
i felt really really sad...
then i not dare have a good talk with him...
although we are nothing now...
coz he dont like talk about past and sad thing...
but finally...
i pick up my heart and i ask him to make me feel better...
so that i wont think nonsense...
i wonder why he angry me that much that day...
and that day...
i realized that i am really deeply love him...
i felt scare to lost him...
before...
i always said...
i dont mind if he leave me...
coz he always the one who love me more...
care me more...
maybe is these reason which make me not appreciate him...
but now i am awake...
he is really a good guy...
and i know i will never found a second guy like him...
i knew is my fault by made him angry that day...
luckily he forgive me now...
i am really glad...
he tell me he really wanna breakup with me already...
maybe the God bless us...
he finally keep his tempered...
and forgive me...
but then at the end i knew why he felt so angry...
and when i wanna closed up the topic...
he angry...
coz he said i always cant understand what he said...
he is furious...
and he shut down the phone said wont call me today anymore...
i felt really sad...
my tear drop...
i thought i will end up the night with my crying face...
and cant study anymore...
after 3 minutes...
he call...
he said sorry with me...
i am really happy that time...
glad too heard his voice...
and glad to we end up our call with a sweet word...
i would like to tell myself now...
i will appreciate him more today onward...
will not purposely argue with him...
and i dont want to have querall with him anymore...
i really love you...